We have gathered here today to celebrate the life of Carolyn Lanier Hassell Barnes. Her humble beginnings were in Tokushima, Japan as the second youngest of 9 children born to missionary parents, Barbara and A. P. Hassell. Carolyn grew up there, attending boarding schools, until 1940, when the family permanently returned to the United States. Her father died shortly after their return, at his church in Mills River, NC.
Carolyn graduated from Hendersonville High School and attended both Montreat and Berea Colleges as a music major until Floyd Barnes came along and swept her off her feet.
They were married in 1951 and moved to Toronto, Canada. Between that time and 1980, Carolyn and Floyd and their growing family lived in Canada or in Virginia Beach. Moving back and forth between the 2 countries became standard practice for them. Their union produced 5 children: Lois, Carol, Ellen, Carl and Paul. In 1980, with most of the children grown and out of the nest, they returned permanently to Virginia Beach.
Carolyn was a dedicated and humble servant for the Lord, finding her spiritual support at the Virginia Beach Community Chapel, where she has served faithfully ever since. She has been involved in the choir, various bible study groups including one for prison inmates, the nursery, the prayer group, and, naturally, a ministry near and dear to her heart was that of the missionaries.
Besides functioning as a minister’s wife when we lived in Canada, Carolyn was skilled in a number of areas including nursing, private childcare and a doctor’s office assistant. And she was a mere 60 (six-zero) years old when she became certified as a massage therapist.
Mom’s loves included music, reading, gigglements and one-on-ones. She could play several instruments including piano, organ, auto-harp and guitar. And, of course, her favorite instrument was her voice.
She pulled the plow since we had no horse and she sewed our clothes. She wrote poetry and read us stories until SHE fell asleep. Her favorite part of camping was getting back home.
Although her upbringing was very strict, she had a way of breaking the rules whenever she could and she loved to laugh! Here’s one of her suggested “home remedies”, but I suggest that you don’t try it at home. If you place a mouse trap on top of your alarm clock, you will not roll over and go back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
I can recall her tale about throwing her cat off the upstairs balcony to see if cats really do land on their feet. And I remember her catching an eel in the Norfolk harbor and eating it because she craved the eel she ate in Japan. I believe she ate Norfolk eel only once!
Then there were the trips to North Carolina to visit her family - this was back in the days before interstate highways. We’d be in the VW bug (our huge tent plus everything we needed to set up camp for 7) and the mountain roads would be narrow and steep with no guard rails. Inevitably, we would be following an 18-wheeler and Dad would eventually pull out to pass. Mom would be horrified and we children would do our best to calm her by telling her to “close your eyes like Dad does!”. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect!
Mom enjoyed the simple things in life: serving God in her own quiet way, watching “The Waltons”, helping others how ever she could. She racked up a lot of miles on her car just in taking friends and acquaintances to their various appointments or shopping.
Once we children got her to stay and play a board game with us after a dinner. We were playing a game called “Beyond Balderdash” where each person has to make up an explanation for a particular obscure word, initials or date. Then the announcer reads all of the explanations including the correct answer and each person guesses which one is the real one. We were working on the date September 25, 1964 where the answer is the day the Gomer Pyle Show went on the air. Well, Mom’s answer was “It was a Tuesday”. We all laughed until we cried. She just didn’t quite “get” the game. That was NOT her thing.
Her “thing” was being a servant to others; to put her wants and needs aside and to ease our burdens. She was always the first one there to set up and the last one to eat and, again, the first one to start cleaning up at get-together’s. She carried her burdens quietly and without complaint.
When talking to her on the telephone, she would invariably end the conversation by saying these sweet words: “Lean over here and let me give you a hug”. She did her best to make sure those around her were “walking the path to Salvation” and that we were ready for the Lord’s coming.
Although our family grew up with very little money and few luxuries, we give thanks to our mother for all the gifts she gave us: Christian values, musical talent and appreciation, unconditional love, and so much more. Our mother lives on in each of her children and every person she touched throughout her life.
October 15, 2006. It was a Sunday. It was also the day my mother achieved her life-long goal and ascended to Heaven to meet her Maker. I’m sure He is well pleased with her.
And I can hear her at this moment saying to all of us: “Lean over and let me give you a hug.”
